Escape.

I’m sure you’ve already seen this one word too many times in the last few minutes. But have you thought of what it means in real life? In this fast-paced era, how can we escape from stress without hurting ourselves more in the process?

Stressful situations are becoming increasingly common in our lives, from deadlines looming over the horizon to the unrelenting trends of global warming and inflation. When that pressure builds up over time, Newton’s third law happens; it causes an opposing desire to indulge in something far removed.

This is part of an innate fight-or-flight response, and choosing the latter is not inherently bad. Having a temporary reverie can have many benefits, like reducing our stress, sorting out our emotions, and letting us focus – only if done properly.

Therein lies the problem. If unhealthy escapism is to take place unfettered, the results can be disastrous. It becomes a lengthy detour leaving us exhausted and laden with weights. Our emotions become ever more volatile, our body depletes in battery, yet our problems remain unsolved.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire

When staring down a stressful situation, giving in to procrastination is just so easy and tempting. Phones are nearly always within arm’s reach, so why not go blow some steam by looking at social media or playing a game? Alternatively, keep hacking away and let your emotions build up unaddressed.

A greater weight combined with high acceleration results in a very large force. Being put off-balance results in a higher tendency for harmful coping mechanisms to crop up.

For rather obvious reasons, gambling, drugs, self-harm, smoking, and alcohol are bad. But what about these other ways of escaping?

Doomscroll on social media, and you’ll see it warp to an apocalyptic wasteland, filling to the brim with toxicity, trickery, and one-upping. Seeing one of your uploaded post forsaken with few likes is an even greater blow.

Sticking to the theme, ignoring your emotions is like letting a nuclear meltdown happen, with pressure and agitation building up to the breaking point.

Overworking is also an unhealthy coping mechanism, as strange as it may sound at first glance. Distracting yourself from stress with even more work doesn’t make you productive, it only makes you even more stressed.

Even conventionally “healthy” ways to relieve stress can turn unhealthy if done excessively. Rest turns to sloth; hobbies turn to addiction. Someday, we will have to wake up from our dreams and face reality.

But I’m sure you already know all this. The real question: why do you still do it? Rationally, we know that these habits are harmful for our long-term well-being. So why harm yourself further via this temporary instant gratification?

For us to solve this problem, we must zero in on the cause.

The hidden hands

The answer is surprisingly complex: a manifold combination between convenience, fear, unpredictability, and control.

It is so easy to go on social media, continue engrossing oneself with deceitful justification, or even do nothing at all. Once snared in the trap, it is only right to continue procrastinating; a moving body has a constant speed and direction unless acted on by a force. In contrast, wanting to solve a problem takes will and energy, limited resources that deplete quickly.

Fear stems more from a case-by-case basis yet remains a constant factor. Whether it be fear of missing out on social media posts or game events, fear of judgement when revealing your emotions and vulnerabilities, fear of the current financial situation, or even fear from being different from peers, they still have the same effect of encouraging these unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Another key factor is unpredictability. Many of these coping mechanisms lets you have that tiny glimmer of a chance to win it all. Perhaps your next post will go viral. Maybe your feelings will be swept away by the wind of time. The very epitome of this –winning a gamble – may be what happens soon, so why not keep trying to win big?

This is closely related to control, which promptly branches off to two opposing ends. On one hand, some of these methods can create an illusion of control over your own life and destiny. Those hardships may not be caused by you, but you can control how you overcome them by being able to bet successfully.

On the other hand, the loss of control is also intoxicating. When life has as many hardships as it does, relinquishing it for just a moment is alluring. Drink some alcohol and relax, or go online and let your emotions fuel you instead of logic.

On their own, each problem can be simple enough to solve. Yet with how intertwined they become, the exponential effect they have can be near impossible to overcome. How do you avoid social media? How would you just open up about your troubles completely to someone? Is it even possible?

Solving for 𝑥

Let’s return to Newton’s first law: An object at rest stays at rest, unless acted upon by an external force. If we want to get out of a rut, we must forcefully push ourselves away to be successful.

Yet to do so, we first need to be aware of it in the first place. Take a moment to reflect if there’s anything that you’ve done that has silently taken a bigger piece of the pie of your life. For example, burning midnight oil occasionally for urgent matters has little impact, but a trend of it can drain our health away. What you need then is better time management and the will to break out of the self-perpetuating cycle. The first and most important step is to realise any and all problems that exist, for only then can you begin working on them.

One way I have found to be effective is to actively remind myself that something is unhealthy. Whenever I feel negative while scrolling social media, I remind myself that it has reached the point of being harmful for my health. I do not let it dissipate as quick as it formed, but I instead will repeat it out to myself over and over until my conscious mind understands that it is time for me to stop. This tactic can even work to directly combat stress: I would remind myself the many ailments stress can bring to make myself simply stop being stressed and focus on solving the problem instead.

Of course, such a tactic might not work for everyone. In that case, you can instead try telling someone you trust about your attempt to stop doing these habits. By declaring your effort to someone else, you instinctually will remember it clearer and be more likely to honour it. Moreover, should you start picking up these unhealthy coping strategies again, they can stop you directly.

This particular method also has the added benefits of being able to forge a deeper connection with the people around you. Whenever you encounter more stressful situations, they can as a social support network to support you, not to mention understanding you better to help you, serving as aegises against the overwhelming tide.

Seeking professional help is the most surefire way to make progress. One of the things they are trained specifically for is to help change bad habits. More than any piece of general advice you would fine online, a psychotherapist is able to understand and adjust to any unique situation and make far more effective development.

Newton’s second law states that rate of change of the momentum of a body is equal in both magnitude and direction to the force imposed on it. To even begin heading in the opposite direction, we must be willing to take the first step. Don’t leave this to tomorrow, then the day after tomorrow, then to a long time after. Start it from today.

However, do note that focusing solely on the speed of progress is a common pitfall. More important than a temporary burst is constant, steady improvement. Even with a small magnitude, it is always superior to reversing directions from burnout.

The best way to keep yourself motivated is to change your mindset entirely. Who are you? What do you want to be? If your two answers are different, then you need to change the former to be the latter. For instance, should you be struggling to stay off your phone to concentrate on studies, you could think of yourself as a successful student with insurmountable willpower. If you truly believe in the ideal identity with which you see yourself, your actions naturally gravitate toward achieving it.

Giving ourselves rewards can also help. Instead of being a frivolous pursuit without substance, it evolves to be an achievable goal with incentives. With an immediate reward for being successful, our brains will associate the action as positive. Over time, we build it into a new habit we do without a second thought.

Separate your goals into smaller “quests” and give yourself rewards after completing them. Using random rewards from a die you roll can even be done, with the same concept of unpredictability from before now having a positive impact for you.

However, do keep in mind the inverse is not true. Punishing yourself for a mistake is a mistake in and of itself. Immediately, the emphasised loss of the ego eliminates any remaining motivation we have, causing us to have tunnel vision of that one singular error. Soon, this devolves into negative self-talk, which comes with similarly negative side effects. Instead, accept that you have made an error, reflect on why it happened, take the appropriate measures to prevent it, then continue with that new habit once more.

Directly removing any acceleration towards unhealthy coping mechanisms can also work. The more inconvenient and hidden they are, the less we want to do them. Doing this will be painful, and that is a sign that it is working and to let them continue. For example, lock social media and betting apps behind requiring a password again and setting a screen time for them. Even better, keep digital devices away if you do not need them.

Lastly, Newton’s third law revolves about actions causing an equal and opposite reaction. Only by openly accepting and striving to use healthy methods to relieve stress can we begin shedding ourselves from our burden, not through inaction.

But how do we be open to healthy coping mechanisms if we don’t know what they are? Identifying unhealthy coping mechanisms are simple, yet effective ones are few and far between. That is not to say they are fictitious; there exists two main categories of them, problem-based and emotion-based coping mechanisms.

Problem-based coping mechanisms are suited for dealing with persistent issues that can be dealt with, such as having unhealthy relationships or being late. They directly try to resolve the root cause or otherwise minimize them such as by having proper time management or seeking advice.

Emotion-based coping mechanisms are instead helpful for events out of our control or to complement problem-based coping mechanisms. These focus on dealing with negative emotions in a healthy way, preventing them from spiralling out of control. Constructive hobbies done in moderation fall under here, as does tempering unrealistic expectations and reframing negativity.

Only together can they remain unwavering through the erosion of time. Without one or the other, even the most microscopic of cracks will grow into gaping faults. Don’t neglect dealing with your problems, but don’t neglect yourself either.

A simple way to determine if a coping mechanism is healthy is identify its role and historical impact. If it does not allow you to gain something from doing it and we instead continue to feel stressed over time after doing it, then it is unhealthy. Do keep in mind there is no one-size-fits-all effective coping mechanism, so do experiment out and see what works for you.

Yet, knowledge is not everything. Much like how cows aren’t perfectly spherical, humans are never perfectly rational. To overcome the weakness of our flesh, we can embrace the certainty of still memes. Set cues for yourself to engage in healthy activities, like setting an alarm and a limit for how late you can use the internet or bookmarking some simple exercises you can easily do. These sensory prompts will serve to remind us to be consistent and integrate them in the symphony of life.

Lastly, accept the existence and purpose stress has. The last thing you should be doing is going into a full-blown panic and playing out innumerable standard operating procedures to deal with the tiniest signs of stress. Unless we’re in a utopian dystopia or an imaginary land in our dreams, stress will always exist in our world.

When you feel stressed, stop whatever you are doing. Accept your current environment. Accept the cause. Accept your feelings of stress. With acceptance comes composure. Only then would one be able to focus on their problem with utmost valour, then tirelessly rebuff unhealthy coping mechanisms, thereby fulfilling stress’s role in the world without any of the unhealthy side effects it has.

Ultimately, the best way to escape stress is not to blindly run from it, but rather to master it to solve our problems whilst standing firm against the temptations it whispers to our minds. So, what are you waiting for?  Stop dawdling today so you can experience an even better tomorrow.