photo credits here
by Teoh Jing Yang, Hannah Ang & Loh Pei Yi
WHY I DIDN’T DO MY HOMEWORK
Have you ever stressed in front of your computer, thinking of the best excuse you can come up with for a homework extension? Or perhaps you are always on the sidelines, watching your classmates beg for mercy and benevolence, and you can’t help but notice the recurring patterns; from the nonchalant faces to the frantic balls of anxiety on the precipice of implosion, the profusely apologetic to the passive-aggressive. We too wonder about that, and hence, we thought to give you our personal impressions on the different letters of apology one could write.
Letter #1
Dear teacher,
I am really sorry for not submitting my homework. I promise to submit it once I get it done next year.
Yesterday, I did not come to school as I was practically coughing blood. I am perfectly conscious that my buddy, Henry, had to collect any homework on behalf of me. However, since I evidently lack any mind-reading or telepathy power, I could not determine if there was any homework assigned to me at all.
At night, the telephone rang, but I was unable to hear it as both the sky and I were under the weather (there was a thunderstorm last night). Little did I know that it was Henry who had called me, which I was only informed of today.
I had attempted to check eSpace and my school email, but I could only find one Math tutorial as my settings had strangely restarted. Upon attempting the tutorial after printing it out, I panicked. I was having another terrible cold during the day when trigonometry was taught and I was having difficulty with it. Additionally, the decreasing TFR made it even harder for me to seek help to complete it. My dog could sense my depression and it faithfully ate my tutorial while I went to take a shower.
Once again, I deeply apologise for not submitting my homework, and will seek your understanding towards this matter. Thank you very much.
Yours sincerely,
Al Brooke
Letter #2 (group apology)
Dear Teacher,
This is Ahmad speaking with regards to the group project submission that was due a week ago. I apologize on behalf of my entire group John, Celine and Zhi Kang. We were unable to complete the project as all the data was stored in my hard disk and it got corrupted, so we are starting from scratch again. Rest assured we will complete the assignment by the end of the year.
Sincerely,
Ahmad.
Dear Teacher,
I am so sorry, but I am John, and my group would like to ask for an extension with regards to the group project that you assigned to us. Celine and I were away on holiday for the entire term break, and Ahmad has been sick for the entire holidays, so we were unable to make reasonable progress.
Thank you for the extension and your understanding!
Regards,
John
Dear Teacher,
I am Celine from your math class. I have come forth to speak the truth to you. My groupmates, John, Zhi Kang, Ahmad and I procrastinated away our school holidays and have not completed the project. We understand that it was irresponsibility on our part that lead to such consequences, but we hope you can be lenient and give us an additional day to complete our work. Sorry for the inconvenience!
Yours,
Celine
Dear Teacher,
This email is with regards to my group’s incomplete project. My groupmates are a group of incompetent imbeciles, who refuse to do work and repeatedly choose to blue-tick my messages. John tells me he has no wifi at home but I see him online on steam all the time, Celine swears her parents won’t let her touch her computer but I see her online on steam all the time too, but she’s lazy I know it, and Ahmad is playing football everyday.
I apologise for my groupmates’ incompetence.
Sincerely,
Zhi Kang
Letter #3
Dear Mr Giri,
Sorry I missed roll call. I slept through my alarm.
Yours sincerely,
Every hostelite ever.
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