Journspit – Part 1

The pilot episode of Journspit features timely and subjective reporting on issues ranging from the global to the local. What’s that? This is old news? No it’s not. 🙂

Hey, school! We are Journspit, where Journsplit tries our hand at comedy for the first time.

Doing ELIGs job. But funnier. Bringing you the top headlines *we* think are relevant in under 2 minutes.

Greta Thunberg got arrested, Andrew Tate got arrested. I guess no one won, but Tom and Jerry, sorry Greta and Andrew will continue their cat-and-mouse chase.

In yet other news, Chat GPT failed PSLE. I mean, to be fair, who even remembers how to draw models?

At least Chat GPT can give hope to the chronically single – Bing ai professes eternal love for NYT writer – insert sci-fi reference

Anyway in other news again, People got attacked by crows in Bishan – our hopes and prayers are with the students from that JC there

News other in, china Hot AIR BALLOON flies over the US by “accident”, and the USA shot it down with a missile. With the money that the US has, they should have just bought a super monkey to shoot the balloon down, but they wasted a missile instead

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle declared bankruptcy according to an article by – maybe he can get a loan from people who have cash to SPARE.

When you need money where would you go? well, if you were Ronaldo you’d go to Saudi Arabia. First, he got sued by Man U, so he went to Saudi and SIUUUUUU

BTS is joining the army, in a revolutionary act of becoming one with their fans by breaking up.

In local news, Have you heard that Jcube is shutting down – I’m bidding a tearful goodbye to the skating rink I’ve always wanted to use… 

Oh, what happened? Why didn’t you go?

crunch week. :skull emoji:

ACS Pri is moving and now supports gender equality! YAYYYYY! 🎊

On the contrary, women’s tchoukball in Singapore hit number 1 but no one noticed – talk about misogyny. Love the justice and equality. 

Last, and we wish it were the least, GST has increased by 1% since the start of this year. The adults think we’re sheltered, but guess who’s paying $1.30 instead of $1.10 for their bottled drinks now!

And that’s all, folks! See you in the next episode! happy clowning! :skull:

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